Hemalayaa Behl – “Just be open to love.”
My fear and insecurities are related to survival. I’m very empathetic, and I think a lot of us are.
“Am I going to survive the pain of the world without taking it on and dying?”
Forget this insecurity and just be open to love.
We all have our own suffering. Whether we’re immigrants. Whether we’re born in one culture and then brought up in another. There’s so much suffering we’ve gone through. All of us, to different degrees.
Suffering is disconnection.
When I’m connected to my relationship with God it feels like everything is okay – like I’m being held.
As soon as I disconnect from that, or I forget, then I’m suffering. We are human and we forget. I forget all the time.
My first introduction to yoga was watching my father do meditation and asana poses. At that time, I wasn’t very good in school and I didn’t focus. My dad introduced me to the breathing and meditative part of yoga when I was ten.
Yoga helped me develop discipline.
I started seeking spirituality and studying asana when I was twenty-three.
I moved out by myself. I had to leave my lineage. I had to leave my family and I moved across the country.
I was very young and going through this partying phase. At the same time, I was searching for who I am. I had all these thoughts.
“Should I do this? Should I drink? Should I party?”
I woke up one day realizing, “this is not what it’s about.”
When I shared this thought, my friend gave me a yoga book. I started doing yoga at home by myself.
Three years passed before I went into a studio. In the studio, I saw a flyer for Jeffrey Armstrong who was giving a talk on the Vedas. Hearing his lecture, everything started to click, “Wow! Thank Krishna. Thank God. I’m home now. Here I am.”
That was the real yoga.
I was brought up in a Sikh tradition where God was always number one. It’s not our parents. It’s not who we’re going to partner with. It’s God.
I’ve become a master at being co-dependently in love with God – with Krishna. I think this codependence has leaked into other parts of my life.
My relationship with love has always been co-dependent like my relationship with God.
I’ve fallen into the learning trap of “okay, here’s another lesson and another reminder.”
I’m a yogi so there’s detachment, but the attraction is so strong it latches on.
“Oh, there he is. There’s my Krishna.”
But he’s not.
Divine Love teaches us we can love everything and all beings, to a degree.
If you make your mate God instead of your guru, then love can be very dysfunctional and codependent.
I put my full embrace and all of my love with Krishna, but I don’t know if humans are capable of that full expression of love for another human.
Presently, I don’t believe we can have a functional, all embracing kind of love.
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